New Year, New Rules

Ok, so this one, yet again, only has a little bit to do with the Navy.  It's more or less just me being me, again. Haha.  But since 2012 is about to end, I feel like I need rules for 2013.  2012, while not overall a bad year, was for lack of a better term, a clusterf$%#.  But, for better or for worse, I have learned a few lessons.  So those lessons have been translated into new rules.  For those of you who read this and know me, please all of you be whip crackers and slave drivers to keep me to these!  I won't be mad at you, for I'm asking you to do this. So here goes:

Rule #1.) Above all else, family comes first.  I know I'm not the greatest at saying so, but I love you guys.  If it weren't for you, I would have failed so many things so many times over.  So as part of this rule, I need to make sure I tell you that I love you and I appreciate you.  And I know this life is almost as hard on you as it is on me.  I hate saying goodbye to you, even when you can stay with me all the way until I have to board my plane.  But I have decided that this difficulty in saying goodbye simply translates into love.  And I thank God for that.

Rule #2.) After family, comes me.  I've learned that putting other people first is the wrong way to go about things, unless they are family.  So after making sure I'm square with my family, I need to take care of myself.  This includes watching what I eat, working out on a regular basis, and doing what I need to do to get where I need to be.  Which leads me to rule #3....

Rule #3.)  Relationships will be verified and dealt with accordingly.  Any relationships deemed toxic will be excised as one would treat a cancerous cell.  I can't afford these emotionally taxing relationships anymore.  I'm too old to deal with this stress, haha.  I know who my friends are, I know who the people are who love me.  I don't need some silly little boy who thinks he's a man invading my life.  I'm done with the drama, I'm done with the utter bullshit and I'm moving on.  If this means I'm on par with a nun, then so be it.  I'm perfectly ok with that.  I'm not trying to be Saint Jessica, I just need to be more selective about who I keep in my life and who I let go.

Rule #4.)  Be careful who you trust.  Not everyone in this world is worthy of trust.  In fact, most people aren't.  While there are people who the Navy trusts at my command (and every other command) with massive state secrets, that doesn't mean they're worth telling a single word of your life to.  In fact, most of them will gossip like old red hens and run around spreading your business with their big mouths.  If the government trusts them, it doesn't necessarily mean I should, too.

Rule #5.) Find God.  I've never been an atheist, I've always believed God exists, but it's about time I found Him.  I have no idea how I'm going to do this.  I might try churches, though I never feel comfortable there, I might go back to Vinyasa yoga, or just meditation and reading on my own. This is perhaps going to be the most difficult of goals, but I don't think it's impossible.  I always remember a line from the movie, Eat Pray Love, "God dwells in you, as you." So maybe by finding God, I'll find myself.  Hopefully.

Well, that's about all I have for now.  It's a bit emotional, especially for me.  But hopefully by putting this in black and white and having it out there for the world to see, I'll be more inclined to stick to it. We'll see. Take care, blogger world.  I'll write again soon.  Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas, I know I did!