So recently, I have learned that some things never change. I'm not going to get into that entirely, but it's a lesson I'm still learning. My birthday is coming up, and I had hoped to run away to somewhere, quite frankly anywhere but here. Unfortunately, that's unlikely to happen. Instead, I'm probably going to stick around town and get tattooed. Eh, the ribcage only hurts for a little while, no big.
As far as Navy life goes, I'm beginning to seriously hate it. I'm not sure if it's just this command, or all commands, but I never thought I'd walk into the command as an ET, and leave a politician as greasy and slimy as any in Congress. I HATE how political this is!! You have to know who's ass to kiss, how to cut other people's throats or stab them in the back, and if you're a hard worker - well, you've already lost that EP you were hoping for. That's going to go to the asshole that sits on their ass and does nothing but bullshit around the conference table all effing day. Nevermind the people on the watchbill who actually, oh, I don't know, work??? No, no, if you work that must mean you're useless and trying to cover up something. But if you sit around all day and do nothing, well then, you must have the sun shining out of your ass. As of right now, I really don't want anything to do with the Navy. Apparently I was expecting something different, how naive could I have been? Well, lesson learned Navy. You win. I had hoped to be an officer one day, but I don't think that's going to happen. Besides, I never would have been picked up anyway. That packet would have required letters of recommendation I wouldn't be able to get because I don't matter here. Only one person in my chain of command even notices those of us on the watchbill, and unfortunately I don't see him often enough to talk to him about the package. Well, I shouldn't say that, there are really three people who see us. But all three are day staff, and the schedule we're on is chaotic by comparison.
My other big complaint is the fact one of the chief's here freaked out on us about fraternization. Thanks to the actions of a few morons that need to be smacked, we were informed we cannot hang out with ANYONE from here. Even if we're of the same rank. Granted, that doesn't stop people, there are even romantic relationships going on between members of the same divisions. But I've realized that I'm not one of those people that could get away with it. Hell, I get threatened with Captain's Mast for simple mistakes. In my mid-term review, I was told that it's ok to make mistakes, as long as they weren't intentionally made with any detriment in mind. Now I'm being told no, you must be perfect or you're in trouble. UGH! How the hell am I supposed to keep up with what these people want?! It's not like the watchbill gets an email saying, "hey, this week, everything we expected of you last week is now mastable, and we have new standards." I'm back to not wanting to troubleshoot anything for fear of making a mistake or being wrong. It's not worth going to mast over. But at the same time, if I don't do something, I get sent to mast for derilection of duty. WTF DO YOU PEOPLE WANT?! It's really bad when you feel like the red-headed step child of the red-headed step child division of the red-headed step child command. I just want out of the area for a while, maybe that will help my disposition, though I doubt it. I don't need another episode like Savannah. That was more than enough. Plus it's not like I can get out of the Navy, I have nowhere to go, no job prospects of any kind. If I were prettier, skinnier I could have married rich years ago and still be riding horses and doing what I wanted. But yeah, no. Instead, I'm going to whine and bitch about the choices I made. Well played, idiot, well played. Proof a college degree does NOT mean you're an intelligent human being. You were just dumb enough to thing you're smart. Dumbass....
