To Be, or Not to Be?

So I realized it's been quite some time since I posted a blog.  Honestly, I feel like my life has been chaos and completely calm at the same time.  I'm currently fighting two battles; one personal, one professional (kinda). 
Professional battle:  I don't want to be a day walker again.  Which is exactly what my LPO is trying to make me.  On one hand, it will be a good opportunity for me to do my actual job (2M tech).  But on the other hand, I have to be a day walker again. As Grumpy Cat would say, "No."  Which is exactly what I want printed on a blue t-shirt that I can wear under a uniform blouse.  I don't even care that it wouldn't be in regs...  Only time is going to tell whether or not I have to go back to days, but I really don't want to!  The other professional battle is me getting my mind in the right place to write these damn essays for my OCS package.  I have no issues with the writing, it's the writing within the imposed restrictions I have a problem with.  Dear OCS package processors:  Linguists have issues with a 250 word limit.  So answering the questions is not the issue; cutting it down to size is! Oh well, I'll figure it out sooner or later.

While I mentioned a personal battle, it involves relationships, and one I don't know what to do with.  Some people just leave marks on your heart and soul that you never want to erase, and when they come waltzing back into your life you just don't know what to do.  This is also a point where the two sides of my brain are trying to beat each other with sticks, and my heart made it's decision almost two years ago.  Stupid emotions.  Eh, another mess I got myself into.  Only the answer is simple:  to be, or not to be?  Isn't that always the question. *Le sigh*

On a happy food note, if you stuff a chicken breast with just a little herb goat cheese, salt and pepper the outside and cook it in a hot cast iron skillet, then wrap beautiful stalks of aspargus in proscuitto de parma (grilling those to perfection as well), and pair with a lovely red wine, you'd have yourself an amazingly simply, fabulously delicious dinner.  I know, I've done it. Hahaha!  Until the next time... <3